You may have seen the art in the images section. You may have seen his first Lawyer Man appearance in Special #5. Heck, you may have never seen anything and just clicked on this section out of curiousity over what it was. Many people, I know, don't have any idea he even exists! But now everyone will know the true story of ZXDWare.net's second biggest mascot.

It all began back in the 7th grade. It was the year 2000, and I was in fourth hour. Of course, near me as always was the everpresent annoying kid. You know there's always one wherever you go. I was pretty angry at the time, and the annoying just made it worse. So I began drawing a large knife. Then a little stick figure impaled on it. Soon, I had an entire twisted little scene. You can see it here.

As if that didn't disturb the annoying kid enough, I drew another one. A lot less action, but quite a bit more brutal in it's own little way. And it has our friend in it. In his earliest form, of course. Click here to see it. Done in the same style as the first drawing, it introduced me to a whole new dimension of possibilities.

By this point I'd created a character. He had no backstory, no frontstory, and no middlestory. He didn't have any story whatsoever. I had given him a personality at this point. He was a demented killer who made no distinctions and was always happy. But that wasn't anything without a story.

And then, a golden light came to me. It came in the form of a LIT 7 assignment. We had recently read a tragic poem about a highwayman who was in love with the innkeeper's daughter. They both died in the story. And the teacher wanted us to write poems about couples dying in a conflict.

There were some pretty stupid ones. I remember someone wrote a stupid one about Scooby Doo and a bunch of Bulldogs. Well, at least they killed that annoying dog in it. Anyhow, I wrote mine about Happy Bob and a gothic girlfriend of his. It envolved murder and the feds. Here's that poem.

The Ballad of Happy Bob
By: Ian Burton
(A,A,B,C,C,B)

The victim dripping blood
Creating red-tinged mud,
Not moved from where he fell.
It was done by Happy Bob!
He's the one who did the job.
So he is doomed to Hell.

But Bob already fled,
And left behind the dead.
The smell of death scorching the air...
Now to the scene the feds did march,
Their shirts all clean and full of starch.
Searching for him everywhere.

They searched the alleys, combed the streets,
Forgetting about Bob's previous feats.
But they were called in much too late!
Bob had already got away,
To his gothic girlfriend's, to hide away.
But the three forces would soon have a date.

Suddenly, the door the feds kicked in!
But Happy Bob would not give in.
He jumped and ducked behind the couch,
He pulled a knife and threw it well!
Another fed dies and burns in Hell.
And then gunfire was heard, and his girlfriend did slouch.

Bob knew now that he must run,
Now that they killed his only one.
He shattered the window and out he leapt.
He ran for good life, as his girlfriend still bled,
But the feds finally got him. They shot him dead.
And from then on... he forever slept.

But some say neither are gone...
Some claim to see them with every dawn.
They say death reformed them and that they go
Downtown to read the news,
And listen to has-beens sing the Blues.
But now we stop, for that's all we know.

Of course, death didn't take its toll on Happy Bob. In fact, he wasn't effected in the least by it. The legend says that Bob arose from the grave and took a fleshy form. No longer was this mortal man a stick figure. He had a physical structure now, a body of meat and bone. And the clothes! Oh, the fantabulous clothes!

But as we all know, it's not that complicated. All it took was that poem to get me motivated, and then I cranked out the earliest flesh and bones form of Bob. It looks rather Invader Zimmy, if you ask me. And that picture is here.

Then there was a long pause and Bob was out of victims for a while. It was like the Great Depression. People were more cautious to stay inside. Bob had less and less will to live. Times were tough, until the next year. The Eighth Grade.

It was during a certain Math 8 test that he snapped back into mind. I remember it clearly, sitting there and suddenly thinking, "Hey, remember that one crazy killer dude I came up with? I think I'll draw another picture of him!" It was probably one of the best pictures I ever drew of him. If I remember it correctly, it added many newer features, such as the bigger eye being on the other side. And it's the only one that had fingers. Too bad I could never find it...

But it was that picture that really started him up again. The next Happy Bob illustration came about not too long after. Of course, since I never dated my things, this is one of the "blurred" areas. That of course would be an area of much work that isn't quite sorted. But the next one, I believe, was "Happy Bob meets the Gallows."

Not long after that picture, which was done on the back of a Geography test, came several others. The first one that comes to mind is Happy Bob versus the World. Then there was a picture which is terrible and on a side view, here. And then there was this one. That was the last one for a little expanse of time.

By then it was the 2002 half of the year. It was around May that I finally got a hold of ZXDWare.net. (Hooray!) My ex-partner on the site, FlatFace, helped me fix up the main page. In this process, he also added an image to the site. This is the image I replaced the original with. (The original was the kitty from oralse.cx.)

And then came the summer and with it came freedom! I began visiting the forums of Starmen.net once again. And of course, I was visiting their Interactive Fiction forum. One day, my eyes came to rest on a story called, "Frozen." It's a very interesting story still going on to this day. It's about an alien race that shoots the world with a freeze ray and they begin to get "resources" from it. But something has gone wrong, and certain few people remained unfrozen. Of course, Bob just HAD to get envolved. Here's the first post with Bob in it.

The sudden hardness of the bed awoke Happy Bob with a start. He found himself in a hotel room in Threed. There was a dead body in the corner, and a particularly unfriendly note left on it. Not surprising, as many of his nights ended that way.

He scratched his head and sat up in the broken, uncomfortable bed. Something felt wrong. Maybe it was the way his pillow still had the back of his head printed into it. Or maybe it was the way the General Lee was simply hanging in the air on the TV screen. He figured a shower might help clear things up a bit.

So Bob promptly undressed and headed for the shower. He slowly opened the door and stepped in. The handle refused to turn on the faucet. He struggled with it for quite some time before finally getting it to twist. But no water came out.

Now he was sure something was wrong. He put his clothes back on, pulled his knife out of the wall and got up. He pushed the door open and sent the police tape to either side.

"Something's really wrong here, and for once it's not my fault. I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

He walked outside, pushing a few more adjacent corpses aside.

"Man, must've gotten wasted again. Should try not to do that as much any... more?"

He looked at several people and animals standing still. Some of them were stuck doing the oddest things. One man was stuck pulling money from the ATM. Happy Bob rushed over and took the money, then continued wondering what was wrong.

When he could think no longer, which didn't take very long, he decided he'd just go walking in search of SOMEONE who could tell him what in the world was going on...

This is only the beginning of Bob's exploits. To read the whole story, click here [the story is current 'Frozen' at the moment due to lack of attention towards it. If any of the old posters are still interested, the forum link on the bottom of the home page has it waiting. - Cecil].

The story was the biggest thing that had happened to Bob in a long time. It gave him a real name, Bob Reginald. It gave him a world, a nice one that's much better than the original "Stick Land." It even inspired me to make an entire EarthBound style sprite sheet.. And it introduced me to my close friend and partner in the website, Cecil.

The way me and Cecil came to be friends through this story is really quite odd. You see, it all began with an unplanned move in the story line where Bob falls madly in love with his female AC, (Author Character) Sandra. After a while of the thing going on, Cecil sent me a PM on the forum with pictures of Sandra in it. That's what sparked our friendship.

Moving right along, it wasn't long until I did another Happy Bob art. This time, however, he was more of a symbolic figure. He was in an ad I drew up really quick for ZXDWare.net. I drew it up really quick in biology. This one can be seen here.

And then, the best art of Happy Bob in all history came along. I was talking to Cecil on AIM once, and I was really down. "Man," I said. "I wish I could get some fanart of Happy Bob." He suggested I ask SM.net regular emilio. So I did, and he accepted my request. It took a few weeks, but it was oh so worth it. Because THIS is the picture. It's so beautiful I could cry.

Then, of course, there was his role using his MM7 style sprites in Lawyer Man Special #5. In it, he talks about how he's been working behind the scenes and then procedes to explain what the rest of the cast is up to at the moment. You can see that one here.

The last picture I've done of Happy Bob is a retro-style "Stick Land" picture. It wasn't all me, though. My buddy Cory did some of it. We did it at lunch, and I think it's just as screwed up as any old Happy Bob picture. Here it is!

The very face of Happy Bob has changed. Well, not really. But my art of him has. On the date of Tuesday 3, 2002, a revolutionary art of Bob was completed. It is more proportionate AND his features are more equally leveled. His face is also on an angle. Check it out right here!

A new picture from a close friend of mine in Florida has just arrived in the mail today! I asked her to draw it, and this is what she did. I'm quite impressed! Here it is!

Well, what do you know? It's an update! There's a lot more Happy Bob stuff floating around right now, but most of it's pretty crappy. Here's the worthwhile stuff. First off, my buddy Hawaiian Shirts slapped down some mad arting skills with this picture here. Another notable picture came later, this one drawn by me. To see Happy Bob at his finest, click here. One more notable thing, I'm working on a hack of the SNES cult classic, EarthBound. It's completely Happy Bob themed. For more information on it, click here.

A great big sack of updates for the holiday season! First off, sadly, Happy Bob RPG has been cancelled. Well, put on hold at least. There are currently two other Happy Bob related games in the works, however, so be prepared to be blown away by the releases of both "Happy Bob: Brawler of 199X" and "Happy Bob Quest." Neither one is yet finished, but HB:Bo199X is pretty well started. There is no released pictures, or really any sort of public information. But it's a Beat-'Em-Up game, sure to be fun for the whole family. Happy Bob Quest, following in the steps of Sierra's old "" Quest games, is a 2D, low res, keyboard and text driven graphical adventure. There is a super-duper-ultra-omega-see-how-the-technology-works demo out, which can be obtained here. As for art, stuff has been stacking up for months now! First off, I've got a brand new scratch sprite of him. I also drew a pseudo-30's looking picture of him and Sandra, located here. My pal NinjaBoyNeo drew a more to-the-period 1930's Happy Bob, here. I have a few crappy drawings I made as possible ideas for title screens for Happy Bob RPG, which I should have up by some time next year. (They're kind of lost right now.) And there's one last thing in this update, one last thing that will BLOW YOUR MIND.

HAPPY BOB PLUSHIE.

That's right, a Happy Bob plushie! Don't believe me? I don't blame you. But if you click here, you'll see that it's the honest truth. Check THAT out.

Another big fistful of updates on Happy Bob, which have all been stacking up for some time now. First, another IF at Starmen.net now features Happy Bob, only as he was in 1995. The story takes place during the storyline of EarthBound. If you've ever wondered what Bob was like when he was younger, here's your chance to find out. If you wish to read it, click this link.

Now for some art, which hasn't been seen outside of a very tiny circle of people. First, some concept art for a story I'm working on the basic premise of. It envolves the giants among my characters, and is meant to dull down the super cheapness of Zero Diamond. It just so happens that Bob and Zero meet on less than friendly grounds. So yeah, that might happen. Next, I have my own whacked-out homage to Butch Hartman's popular cartoon, "The Fairly Oddparents." I call it, "The Fairly Bobparents." I tried to emulate the style of animation, and ended up with a terrifying result. Neat! And then, I paid homage to Leonardo da Vinci (who was almost Leonardo da Gary, Indiana...) with this piece of art. And yes, I drew him anatomically correct, as Da Vinci did. And no, I'm not showing it to you.

Also, today I remembered something that I drew in either the fifth or sixth grade that eerily resembled what would be recognized as Happy Bob today. And the guy's name was Bob, he dressed in black, and had a bowl cut. I remember it clearly, I drew it on a small notepad and tore it in half. The whole thing was that this "Bob" person had been hit by a car (a remote controlled car, if I recall correctly) and torn in half. Each half of the paper had part of the story on it. It went something like this. "This is Bob's torso. Bob is dead. These are Bob's legs. Bob was hit by a car." Later, I drew the RC car on a completely different piece of paper and wrote, "This is the car that killed Bob." Could this be a missing link in Happy Bob's evolution? I'm not quite sure, but the resemblance is creepy. If I ever find the two halves of "Bob," I'll make sure to post them here.

Well, I've come across some more Bob art, though my new computer has no scanner. Although I do have this Monster Bash sprite edit that I think looks pretty neat. I happened to find one of two Happy Bob RPG ads I drew, and came upon the only screenshot from my defunct Happy Bob Keen project. Work would have continued, had my computer not exploded and lost all the work I'd done so far. I'll release some info soon regarding my earlier NES project, maybe even an IPS of what Mr. Syd and I had done. One more thing. Happy Bob was a contestant in the Create-a-Character Contest 3 on the GameFAQs.com forums. Unfortunately, while he did better than fellow contestant Sandra this time, he still was defeated in a close match by Allison Price in the quarter-finals.

Who knows what's next for Bob? His future is uncertain, as is anyone's. But will he continue his monumental climb, or will he topple from his pinnacle and straight into the inferno of Hell? Noone can be sure.