Hey there, folks. It's me, Happy Bob, here to give you my opinion on the issues of the day. Today, I'll be talking about the prisoner abuse in Iraq, and why people are so incredibly stupid for making such a huge FREAKING deal about it!

For those among us who are less informed, here's the scoop: Apparently, some idiot soldier in Iraq decides to strip down some captured arab militiamen and take pictures of them with a woman. Let me first take a second to ask a really important question. HOW THE HELL IS HAVING A WOMAN LOOK AT YOU WHILE YOU'RE NAKED ABUSIVE?! If you ask me, that's not abuse at all!

But if you take the time to actually research this crap, okay, that's apparently the ultimate shame to Islamic men. To be naked in front of a woman. Which brings up my second question. If being naked in front of women is the ultimate shame, then how is it they still exist? Muslim babies have to come from somewhere, and if men can't be naked with women without being shamed, then they must have some kind of sick, twisted baby factory out in the desert somewhere.

And yet, people are raising a big ass stink about it! Why? Because they're incredibly stupid! They are so incredibly stupid that they don't take the time to think back a few months to the shit they did to our people! Let's not forget Jessica Lynch, who was captured by the Iraqis, beaten, broken, and generally made a mess of. As if that's not big enough a violation of the Geneva convention, they also tortured many more of our troops, and blew the hell out of hundreds (if not thousands!) more! And let's not forget the Muslim cleric who, in one of his masses, told the Iraqi soldiers that if they captured female soldiers, they could keep them as slaves.

This leads me to one conclusion, and it's one that makes my blood boil. THE GENEVA CONVENTION DOESN'T APPLY TO ANYONE BUT THE UNITED STATES ANYMORE. That's right, you heard me. The only freaking country who is to be held responsible for prisoner abuse is the good ol' US of A. Why? Because nobody else EVER does anything wrong! I guess Adolf Hitler was in the right when he sent millions of Jews to their deaths, wasn't he? The Vietcong were just doing their jobs when they took thousands of US soldiers and kept them in tiger cages for years, right? When the Taliban blew up the World Trade Center, that was just peachy, yes? WHEN SADDAM FREAKING HUSSEIN GASSED HIS OWN PEOPLE WITH CHEMICAL WEAPONS HE SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN HAD, THAT WAS OKAY, RIGHT!?!? BUT THE MINUTE THE US TAKES ONE FILM ROLL OF PICTURES WITH NAKED PRISONERS, THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD DEMANDS AN EXPLAINATION AND AN APOLOGY?! IT'S NOT RIGHT, DAMN IT! IT'S NOT RIGHT!!

If you ask me, the only thing the world needs these days is a dose of its own medicine. Either we get a president in the US who doesn't give a rat's ass about what other countries think, or we withdraw all our troops from everywhere in the world and close ourselves off from everyone else. And when Kim Jong Il nukes Japan, and the radical Muslims in the Middle East start a colossal, bloody civil war, and the Balkans erupt in bloody madness that consumes the entirity of Eastern Europe, who's going to bail their asses out then? Nobody! Because America will be sitting at home, watching it all unfold. Or reruns of CHiPs.

God bless America! The only FREAKING country on Earth that has to account for its actions!



Happy Bob Says #2