Welcome to the modern day minstrel show

I have ADHD/Depression/Autism/The Gay/Chronic Fatigue/Whatever other self-diagnosed bullshit I come up with on the spot.  That means I can use that to guilt and manipulate people and criticizing me for any reason is offically evil and wrong!  And if you ever say otherwise I can slap you with the Ableist/Ignorant/Bigot label and get my shitty little cult of Tumblr queens to harass you forever!  Woooo hoooooo!

Seriously fuck these scumbags and fuck anyone who enables them too.

"Lifestyle experts" are just modern day cult leaders

 I'm debt free cuz I don't watch movies or TV or listen to music or read books or eat anything with more flavor than non-HMO kale or let my kids do any of the same, and I'll tell you all about how to find joy in working 90-hour weeks for a greedy sociopath and alienating everyone else in your life!  Just buy my shitty books and $25-an-episode lifestyle podcast and make all my weird isolating talking points your entire personality!

"Fictional lives matter" fucktards are pathetic

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Armchair activists make my teeth itch

 Oh you're gonna come and scold me for using my social media following to talk about my hobbies instead of "fighting the good fight"?  Yeah fuck off; reposting every clickbait piece of crap you see from grifter accounts like Occupy Democrats ain't helping anyone, it's just feel-good masturbation for go-nowhere-do-nothing idiots like you.  You and they just try to look righteous so people will shower you with praise (preferably in the form of free money); it's transparently fucking obvious you don't actually give a shit about anything you're preaching about and are just fishing for any excuse to talk down to anyone you can for any reason you can.  Log off and stick to what you know best - using mom's credit card to buy shitty overpriced coffee and hipster garbage at Hot Topic, cuz you sure as hell ain't changing anyone else's life for the better you fucking parasites.

People I fucking hate part 4

 Passive aggressive malignant narcissists can fuck right off.

"I say I respect your opinion but I clearly don't since every time the topic comes up I make sure to let everyone know how right I am and how wrong and evil your view is while you're clearly in earshot so you can hear people disparage you lololol"

It's never a one time thing either.  They come back to this shit with every person they can and always make sure you hear it over and over and over again for years after the fact.  YEARS.  YEEEEEEAAARRSS.

Everyone who does this shit needs to fill a Dixie cup with fish hooks and then just down the whole thing in one shot.  If you want to get rid of "sick, sad and hateful people" that's the best place to start you fucking psychos.

We're mad at EA again...

...until tomorrow when they release another game and everyone instantly forgives all of their past transgressions and rushes out and buys 6 copies

If this sounds cynical it's only because I've seen this shit happen over and over and over and over and over and over and over for 30 years now

Should AI art become accepted as the new norm?

Fuck no.  All of your so called "art" looks like shit and the fact that you can "just type in a dozen words and get a picture" (by also spending enough electricity to power a small town) is a fucking farce.  And no, it's not "democratizing art", it's fucking theft.  You're the modern equivalent of 12 year olds who steal other people's drawings off Deviantart, put your name on it and try to sell them as your own.  In other words, scumbags.  Miss me with that bullshit about how hating "AI Artists" is ableism, too.  Check this:

 

This is Bruce Horak.  He's a successful actor and an accomplished painter.  He's also been legally blind since he was three years old.  If he can build up talent and make a legitimate career out of it then what the fuck is your excuse?

My point is this: if you want to make art, do it.  I don't even care whether it's good, just pick up a pencil  or a mouse or whatever and make it yourself.  The only way to make good art is to make a lot of shit art first and get gradually better; there ain't no shortcut to fame or talent.  Besides, even shit art is better than stolen art because at least it's something you made, an expression of yourself, rather than something you stole from someone else for a bit of cheap fame.  Which is kind of the entire point of making anything.

So yeah, "AI artists" need to go.  We do enough for loudly-and-proudly-mediocre assholes already; From Software recycles the same 30 year old engine to make you a new game every 8 months you can blast through in a week with a guide and then point to your cheevo lists as proof of your superior gene stock or some shit.  Sony's reduced their entire lineup of "games" to 40-hour cutscenes with no mental involvement beyond following an arrow and pushing a button; so it's no longer about skill as a gamer, but how much non-existent "depth" you can find in the shallow characters and cliché-ridden scripts.  Elon Musk (shit-eating racist nepo-manbaby) spent 44 BILLION dollars on a whole ass social media site so pathetic manchildren with the mentality of playground bullies can pay him $8 to "be seen" while they insult, belittle, demean and start fights all day from behind the safety of their mom's Compaq.  Or just post blatantly untrue/offensive bullshit and get paid when idiots try to argue with them over it.  You're all coddled babies; try earning something just once in your fucking life instead of being parasites.

And while I'm on the subject, fuck Elon Musk.  What a useless fucking human being.  I hope debris from his next rocket or truck that explodes crushes him.

Bring back Marooning

Can we remove people from society who dig up months/years-old posts to try and start stupid arguments?  Just make em gone, permanently.  No lawyers, no courts, no trial, no waiting 15 years on death row.  Hell, you wouldn't even have to spend money housing em in jail for years and years and years; just bring back marooning.  Dump em on a tiny sandbar in the ocean with a single-shot pistol and provisions.   Problem solved.

If it sucks, hit the bricks.

 At some point you have to come to grips with the fact that a place that's been a toxic shithole for years will always suck, change your mindset from "maybe it'll improve if I do X" to "this is never going to get better", cut your losses, and move the fuck on.

"Some people" aka the new hot weasel word

 When you say "some people" in an argument what you're always talking about is yourself.  Just be honest about it already and stop trying to ad populum fallacy your way to "winning" an argument.

 "Some people don't want games under 300 hours long"
"Some people say we were better off under Trump"
"Some people think you should be executed in the street Vietnam style for daring to question anything I say"

You're not fooling anyone, seriously.

People I fucking hate part 3

 People who notice you putting on headphones or covering your ears to shut out their loud bullshit and so they fucking YELL LOUDER

People I fucking hate part 2

People who barge into a conversation with others talking off the cuff and getting some minor irrelevant fact wrong and then pretend it's a free ticket to be a complete shitbag.  Wow, we're just having a conversation in the moment and you have Wikipedia on your search bar in Firefox and unlimited free time to fact-check and craft your "witty" response to some inconsequential statement; truly you're a paragon of intelligence and we should be worshipping you and taking all your vicious abuse in stride.  Yeah right, fuck off into a fatal overdose you disgusting pig.

People I fucking hate part 1

People who keep a meticulous mental cardfile of every way they've ever been wronged in their life so that "one day" when they get rich and famous they're going to make every one of those fuckers pay. Preferably by getting their toadies to do all their heinous dirty work for them so they can conveniently disavow them later.  Thankfully they make no secret of the fact that they just view everyone around them as a stepping stone to their personal happiness or an obstacle in their path, so they never have any real friends or income for long...

Either learn to let petty shit go, or you're going to turn into Chris Chan...

"You probably don't care, but..."

 You're right, I don't.  Now take your argument-bait horseshit somewhere people think it's cute.  Like 8chan.

Need some shred of credibility to get your hack Youtube game reviewer career off the ground?

Just bitch about framerates!  Is it a turn based game or some other genre where that shouldn't matter at all?  Doesn't matter!  Hell the game doesn't even actually ever need to dip below 60, just steal trailer footage and put a number in the corner and have it change to slightly less than 60 whenever something flashy happens, then squeal for 25 minutes about how the whole game is ruined.  Oh and don't forget to leave comments on so people can refresh the video page and all the front-loaded ads every 5 seconds to argue with each other; that's more revenue for you!

Fuck your "forgiveness"

"Why won't you just forgive person X you'll be happier if you do"

Is it really that hard to believe you can split from someone who's been around you for a long time and not be consumed by negative feelings? Or did nobody just ever consider that the constant negativity and guilt tripping and bullying and hypertension was why someone left to begin with and they're much happier without all that shit in their life?  This ain't a Hallmark Channel movie, go find your self-serving vicarious happy ending somewhere else.

Besides, why forgive irredeemable people when you can cast them out of your life and then forget about them?  Much better option.

Dunning Kruger

Being good at a video game hundreds of thousands of people are already good at doesn't immediately qualify you as prime eugenics material or make you particularly intelligent.  A concept too difficult for some.


Get-away-with-anything cards by decade

1987 - Muh gay panic
1997 - Muh ADD
2007 - Muh autism
2017 - 



Ban Tiktok

Not for any political reasons or because China's going to steal our data or whatever; hell, there's thriving mega-corporations like Google and Akamai that scrape everything you ever do online and sell it to tech firms in China and Russia for a tidy profit, and they sure as hell don't face any consequences or even scrutiny for it.  I just hate that stupid fucking app.  I hate the little bloopy bumper, I hate the AI generated narrator voice, and I hate that people use it as a substitute for their own brains.  Hooray, you saw another funny video on there, just like you did the last 75 days in a row you've brought it up; now shut the fuck up and go immolate yourself.  Yes, I'm sure that 32 year old who looks 57 is selling high-quality nutritional supplements and not just newspaper shreds and dirt in a bottle to con easy marks like you.  I'm also sure that Biden is a secret agent of the deep state who doesn't want you to know about the lizardmen or that acetaminophen feminizes your kids and vaccines cause autism; of course, even if that shit was true (and it's fucking not), you and your shitty little Sunday sewing circle rate having a family life that's anything less than saccharine '60s sitcom perfect as a fate worse than death.  And you call yourselves 'Christians' too.  Ha ha ha, the only 'messiah' you wretched fucks worship is a cabal of filthy rich malignant narcissists on TV and Youtube and AM radio who always tell you to preach but never to practice.  That humble and selfless man who lived in the desert two millennia ago, did right by everyone he could, expected nothing in return and was executed as a blasphemer for it?  You and they will invoke his name every chance you get just to show off to everyone how 'loving' and 'holy' and 'righteous' you are and twist any criticism of you or your beliefs into a screed about oppression, but you'll never lift a finger of help or donate a single cent to a brown person or a queer or a Jew or a poor or a cripple or an autist or a Muslim who similarly get hated, neglected and abused just for being who they are.  Fucking pathetic, hypocritical scumbags.

Get rid of Youtube and Meta and "X" while you're at it too.  Same shit, different bowl.

"Apology" rebuttal

Wow.  That was the biggest pile of passive-aggressive, self-pitying disingenuous garbage I've ever read in my life. I mean really, you just took advantage of your "apology" message to whine about your hurt fee-fees and list off in meticulous detail all the evil, heinous ways I've personally sinned against you, the Almighty Basement Dwelling Nobody From Buttfuck, Michigan, and never once addressed the constant negativity, rudeness, open disrespect or outright harassment that caused me to dump your shithole community in the first place. Simply incredible; totally worthy of the two years it took you to work up the courage to write it. The only way it could be even more backhanded and disingenuous is if you used an AI generator instead.  And no, I'm never coming back; make all the whiny self-serving cry-cry stream screeds and backhanded threats you want, we both know you're too pathetic to carry them out.  You sure as hell don't command enough respect from your yes-men to get them to do it either.

Now with all that on the table, here's some free advice for you.  Whatever it is you think you're trying to accomplish online in the year of our lord 2024, you've already failed.  You have a terrible reputation, no connections, no credibility, no drive, no money and no talent; nobody with two functioning braincells is ever going to collaborate with you, let alone work for you, so just spare what little remains of your dignity and quit while you're behind.  Delete and destroy every copy of your sorry little revenge list, then get off Patreon, Twitch, Facebook, Twitter, Discord, ZDoom and Starmen and whatever else you're on, format all your hard drives, cancel your Internet account, sell your computer, move out of your parents house and get a real job, or you're going to turn into Chris Chan...

Oh and you can quit sending fucking scumbag assholes like Fez and Ostwind to stalk my socials and harass my friends and followers; that's some severely pathetic shit, man.  Not to mention I have way more of your dirty laundry than you even know I have, so you can be smart and fuck off for good or I can air it all out here.  Your move...